How can I make the most of my social relationships during my teen years?
In order to build healthy relationships and handle social situations during your teen years, you need to have healthy self-esteem. It is important to believe in yourself. One way to build confidence is to get involved. It is often easiest to join activities that have a specific goal and take lots of members. That way you will be in a social group with a defined task. Volunteer opportunities in your school or community are a good way to meet people, plus you can feel good about your ability to help others. You could also consider activities such as music/musical theater, athletics, or a religious youth group.

Does my cleft define me?
One teen writes, “I think my teenage years were the first time I started to deal with all that I had gone through. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do with all those thoughts. Thoughts like, ‘My cleft has been such a big part of my life, and now the work for it is decreasing. Who am I now that my cleft doesn’t really exist anymore?’ ‘Do I tell people or pretend I never had it?’ ‘I don’t want my cleft to define who I am as a person, yet it is a part of me.’ How do I move on from there?”

If you feel sad, angry, overwhelmed, or confused by your experiences with clefts, don’t hesitate to seek someone to talk to about these problems. The social worker or psychologist on your cleft team may suggest regular follow-ups, family counseling, and/or a peer support group.

Citations:

American Cleft Palate Craniofacial Association. As You Get Older. ACPAcares.org. Accessed September 1, 2024. https://acpacares.org/resource-center/.

Branson EK, Branson VM, McGrath R, Rausa VC, Kilpatrick N, Crowe LM. Psychological and Peer Difficulties of Children with Cleft Lip and/or Palate: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. The Cleft Palate Craniofacial Journal. 2024;61(2):258-270. doi:10.1177/10556656221125377

Crerand CE, Conrad AL, Bellucci CC, et al. Psychosocial Outcomes in Children with Cleft Lip and/or Palate: Associations of Demographic, Cleft Morphologic, and Treatment-Related Variables. The Cleft Palate Craniofacial Journal. 2023;0(0). doi:10.1177/10556656231181581

Salinero LK, Romeo DJ, Pontell ME, et al. Psychosocial Status and Self-Perception in Patients with Cleft Lip and/or Palate. The Cleft Palate Craniofacial Journal. 2024;0(0). doi:10.1177/10556656241236369

Page reviewed by Suzanne C. Woodard, MS; ACPA Family Resources Committee